Striped Up Beyond All Recognition

Just a few thoughts on striped dress shirts. By "striped," I don't mean restrained, respectable stripes. I mean the crazy, multicolored, vertical stripes we've been seeing for too many seasons now.

Bad shirt patterns are easily among the top three causes of Fashion Victimization. Unfortunately, yes, stripes are still in. And no, most of them are hideous-looking on 99% of the population -- it's not just you.

Don't believe that these shirts can make you look horrible? Take this simple test. When considering a striped shirt, ask yourself:

Will this shirt cause someone looking at me to have a seizure?

While wearing this shirt, might people mistake me for a barber, a sideshow barker, or a TV test pattern?

Does this shirt look best when obscured by a tie and jacket?

Is this a Ben Sherman striped shirt?

Answer "yes" to any of the above, and tread carefully.



In case you were wondering, these rules also apply to any sort of pattern. Be vigilant: Unfortunate patterns can sneak up anywhere -- Oh, no, Barneys!