Fear and Loathing in Bloomingdale's Menswear: Part Two

Ted Baker: Wow. Here's a British designer who rocks, but not in a goofy, alterna-rock, Strokes-y kind of way. No, these are clothes that rockers actually wear when they're out on the town -- and I'm not talking about the keyboard player in the back, behind the drum kit. This is frontman stuff.

It follows then, that Ted Baker's area in Bloomingdales looks something like a glowing electric circus. That works just fine, since his clothes are so theatrical. Almost impractically so: I can't imagine wearing most of this stuff during the daytime, or even in a well-lit bar, but that's only because they're so radical. Lots of time is spent on feeling the textures of shirts and jackets here. There's a magnificent black corduroy jacket here -- with hints of bright green, under the collar, for instance -- and a badass purple velvet jacket with silver pinstripes.

Ted Baker is not for everyone, but is worth a long look. And if you've got some extra spending money, are in the mood for slick, bombastic "night out" wear, and are a rock star (this is getting to be a very small population of Stylezilla's readership) you'd do well picking up some Ted Baker.

Calvin Klein: About as far away from Ted Baker as you can get in the same store, Calvin Klein offers reliable genericness in the lower-end collections. Think "World-o-Khaki." That's sad because Calvin Klein Jeans has some interesting things happening -- I like the jeans themselves, and you can find a number of pretty cool-looking casual shirts in that line. Moving up the price scale, the higher-end Calvin Klein Collection has some classy, adventurous designs, too.

I guess this isn't surprising, though. Since the man himself left the helm, Calvin Klein has been weak overall -- though all indications point to the label's Spring 2005 Collection (for women, alas) getting back up to speed. Let's hope that filters over into menswear, then down to the label's more mid-range lines.

DKNY: Lots of blank-feeling, J.C. Penny-esque dress shirts. A variety of bland colors, matching nothing particularly well. Are they even trying? Even the salespeople seem depressed. I wonder seriously what the mood is like in the real DNKY store (across the street). Suicidal, perhaps.

D&G: New to the New York Bloomingdale's. A couple of decent-looking shirts. Some frightening "high-fashion" sweaters, which aren't wearable by anyone wishing to be taken seriously at work or out socializing. All in all, the collection is probably good for Armani Exchange graduates.

Ben Sherman: Ugh. Painfully British. You know my feelings on this label. Wretched, unmatching, gaudy patterns abound. Egad, this area is HUGE! Ben Sherman's area seems to have assimilated most of the space previously occupied by French Connection, which is basically now just resigned to a single rack. What a waste.

Burberry: On the other hand, here's some great-looking stuff. Overpriced? Only slightly. I'd take the suits, most definitely. They're sharp, and the cut is tailored -- slender and classy. It's British without being annoying and mod -- amazing. Likewise, Burberry's dress shirts are also looking really sharp. I'm blasé about the sweaters. Avoid that novacheck!

Nautica: I mostly skipped this one, but did see a decent black corduroy jacket. Pretty cool-looking, but go with Hugo Boss instead.

Joseph Abboud: After all that Britishness, it felt good to be surrounded by a quiet, reliably boring label. Perhaps I'm being too hard. Abboud is good for dress basics. And, I ought to add, value: in the suits department, I found that the best suit under $700 was an Abboud.

Kenneth Cole: should stick to shoes.

Seriously. I've maintained for several seasons that KC has lost his friggin' mind. The Kenneth Cole Reaction stuff looks far better. It's more wearable, less clubby and generally weird-looking. The man gets credit for the amount of originality he's instilled at the price point for the flagship Kenneth Cole label, but still -- some of this stuff just doesn't look good, plain and simple.

And you know, that's not saying much, since Reaction's stuff only truly shines in its ads. I swung by the KC Reaction store after Bloomingdale's, and aside from some disconcertingly helpful salespeople, I found little that sparked my attention. Basic stuff, a step up in urban classiness from Michael Kors' Michael.

So, consider KC for shoes. Also, I like their accessories, which are pretty much limited to cufflinks and silver bracelets.

Links: Again, Bloomingdales.com doesn't have a men's section, so try Shoes.comfor Kenneth Cole shoes.

Bluefly.com is good for DNKY (some of their better, earlier collections) as well as Abboud, and others.