Men's Outerwear, a Conversation

Welcome to the wild, ill-defined world of men's outerwear -- a world where there are no rules, and confusion reigns supreme. Submitted for your approval, a mere sampling of my everyday communications.



A concerned reader IMs:

xxxxxx: hi chris, can you help me find a jacket?

Me: Sure, I'll try. What are you looking for?



xxxxxx: looking for a jacket. kind of long, and in black.

Me: hmm. I'm going to need some more detail on that. :-) Jacket, as in a coat?



xxxxxx: i think so

Me: So, you mean outerwear?



xxxxxx: well, you wear it... outside. but not a winter coat

Me: Hm. And, hmm... Not a raincoat, specifically?

xxxxxx: y. nt a raincoat.





xxxxxx: a regular jacket. or coat. what's the difference?

Me: For one thing, all coats are outerwear... not all jackets are. Generally.

Me: Er, okay. So: A coat. Outerwear. Black. Right? What style?



xxxxxx: um longish. not heavy.

Me: Longish = "full length?"

xxxxxx: yYes, full length.



xxxxxx: wait

xxxxxx: what is full length?

xxxxxx: to my feet?



Me: You're thinking of a robe. :-) Unless you're monk, full-length = all the way to your shins.



xxxxxx: ok, not that long

Me: Now we're getting somewhere. Do you mean a three-quarter-length coat? Above the knee?



xxxxxx: yes!! like that. but there's a particular name for it



Me: Do you mean a car coat?





xxxxxx: car coat? !!@#!

xxxxxx: what's that?



Me: Uh, a specialized type of not-full-length coat.



xxxxxx: ...



Me: These days, it's just a name thing. Some three-quarter-length coats are car coats.

Me: Some aren't. Depends on who you ask.

xxxxxx: !@#!@#! i am so confused



Me: Heh. Join the club. Let's try a different approach: Does it look like this?

Me:

Me: That's from Jos. A. Banks. A less expensive retailer of reasonably good-quality, if somewhat uninspired, menswear. That's their idea of a "car coat."

xxxxxx: OMG YES! THAT LOOKS ALMOST PEFECT



Me: Happy to help. Jos. A. Banks calls that a car coat. Ahem, a "three-quarter car coat."

xxxxxx: THANKS!



xxxxxx: actually r there full-length car coats?

xxxxxx: maybe i'm looking for a longer jacket

xxxxxx: or is it a coat? or…



xxxxxx: !@#!@!



Me: A longer car coat? I think all car coats are three-quarter length.

Me: If it's fuller-length, it becomes a top coat. Then an overcoat at its longest, though the precise difference is debatable.



xxxxxx: what's the difference btn three quarter length and normal

xxxxxx: between that and a car coat



Me: Sometimes there isn't one. Sometimes small details.

Me: But everyone's definitions are a little different on stuff like this. One man's car coat is one man's three-quarter-length coat.



xxxxxx: okm so i am definitely looking for a three-quarter legnth jacket?

xxxxxx: coat?

xxxxxx: car coat



xxxxxx: !%@#! this





Me: OK, I know it's confusing. Hang in there.

Me: What didn't you like about that car coat?



xxxxxx: i wanted one longer, but not a car coat

xxxxxx: or a p-coat, is that similar?



xxxxxx: !@!!# srry, i closed the window. what are my optiosn again? can you go over the difference in coats/jackets/whatever





Me: Man. Let's start with jackets. They go down to the waist.

Me: Er, except for military and safari jackets. And field jackets.

Me: Well, I guess jackets end just below the hips.

Me: Top coats are usually full-length.

Me: Car coats and three-quarter-length coats are about the same length. Sometimes they differ in collar and other details. Sometimes car coats are more casual.



xxxxxx: rain coats?

Me: Rain coats can be any length, beyond the hips. Their definition depends more on material and build. There are perhaps a dozen different types of those, like the Mackintosh, or trench coat. Which aren't the same thing.



Me: Of course, these are just guidelines. Some "jackets" can be as long as coats.

xxxxxx: are you kidding me



Me: ...For example, the ones I mentioned before. Also things like pea coats -- which you mentioned -- the similar "reefer", and the Nehru (of which Sammy Davis Jr. claimed to have more than 200).



xxxxxx: ?



Me: The main thing to keep in mind: These can be the same length as the shorter coats. Terms are not clearly when it comes to marketing these in the U.S., and much of the rigorously defined terminology has been lost, or is ignored today outside of the trade.



Me: Finally, suit jackets and sport jackets are different beasts altogether -- what we've been discussing is outerwear only.



xxxxxx: ok, is this a coat?

Me: That's from Nordstrom, right? It's familiar.

xxxxxx: yes. the page says its a short coat... AND a jacket

xxxxxx: !@#%!

xxxxxx: this! this is ridicuous !@$!%



Me: Stay with me, xxxxxx. :-) That picture is either one, depending on your own definition. There's a grey area there.



Me: Let's start over. So, if you're looking for a coat -- rather than a waist-length jacket -- you may be looking for a three-quarter-length coat, or more specifically, a car coat.

Me: Do a Google search for those terms, and see if you like what you find. Want 'em any longer? Then it's a full-length coat you're after.

xxxxxx: ok. think i ve got it now. THANK YOU SO MUCH.





(Time passes)

xxxxxx: i decided on a "car coat" !! it is PERFECT - couldn't have done it without you.

xxxxxx: it is the precisely knid of thing i am going to be looking for

Me: Oh yeah? Glad to have helped. Got a link? I'd like to post this conversation online if it's okay with you.



xxxxxx: fine, just blacnk out my name. you helped a lot. thanks again.

xxxxxx: oh yes, got a picture for you.

xxxxxx:

Me: …

Me: I just died a little inside.